You are belgian enough when...
1) You always stop your car in traffic for even the tiniest little road from the right.
2) You consider breaking the speed limit normal, and honk and flash at people who don't.
3) If you have had less than 10 beers, you drive your car home, but you still don't indicate when turning or respect the speed limit.
4) If you have a car, you consider any other means of transportation as slightly suspicious.
5) You know the names of at least 10 different sauces for frites.
6) You catch yourself ordering a "Supplement Frites" with every single dish you have in any kind of restaurant.
7) You give other foreigners lectures on the difference between fake and real monastery-produced beer.
8) You don't drink the last two centilitres of a Westmalle trippel.
9) You never wear any color brighter than dark green. You automatically assume anyone who does is either
a) Dutch
b) Scandinavian
c) American or
d) Extremely rude
10) Just one day without rain even in July and August can make you happy.
11) On Saturday morning and Sunday evening of any sunny summer-weekend you accept spending more than three hours stuck in traffic jams on motorways in order to get to and from 100 kilometers of coastline that are completely cramped with high-risers 20 meters from the beach.
12) You consider it normal that even the train to and from the airport has announcements in both Dutch and French, but not in English. You don't react when all of the foreigners storm out of the train at the announcement of Brussels North when coming from the airport.
13) You do all of your grocery shopping in either GB or Delhaize and you don't understand anyone who shopes in the other supermarket chain.
14) You consider it normal to go out to a restaurant at least five times per week.
15) You use and understand abbreviations like NMBS/SNCB, MIVB/STIB, and SMAP/OMOB.
16) You only buy the most up-market chocolate brands, and fell sorry for the geeks who buy "white products."
17) You think it looks nice when the type of pavement tiles in front of each house are different, and you don't mind falling over lopsided tiles occasionally.
18) You take dog doo on the pavement as just another challenge on your daily walks.
19) You keep at least three colors of garbage bags for different kinds of waste, and remember which days to put out which kind of bag on the pavement in front of your house.
20) You don't mind when most streets are full of bags that have been put out on the wrong day, not even in the summer when the combination of the sun and intrepid dogs makes it a very interesting experience.
21) You automatically assume that everyone else speaks at least three languages, but refuse to speak more than one yourself.
22) You have given up on any sensible political discussion about the language divide in general and the Brussels Capital Region and the future of Belgium in particular.
23) You consider politicians and the police worse than criminals, with the possible exception of pedophiles.
24) You consider it perfectly normal when the names of towns on road signs change from French to Dutch and vice versa every 5 or 10 kilometres of motorway.
25) You have understood that the hassle of monthly visits to the municipality to obtain papers or residence permits is reserved for recently arrived foreigners who move every 6 months, and you therefore don't complain over your own annual visit where you wait in line for an hour or two.
26) You get upset when some one brings you a beer in a bottle at a cafe. You deserve the beer to be served in its proper glass.
27) You can't imagine getting a coffee served to you that doesn't include a little container of cream, a sugar and a small treat.
28) You find it normal that a country of 10.000.000 souls (cats, dogs and cows included) has 7 parliaments
29) You find it perfectly acceptable that people take 2-hour lunch breaks, including the librarian at your university
30) You know where to find a shop open after 6pm or on Sunday.
31) You wonder why people in the Benelux are seen as stingy (as you've become like them).
32) You think that travelling 50km is a long way, but that something that happened 500 years ago is fairly recent.
33) You wonder how comes that other countries' motorways are not all bright orange at night.
34) You understand why Tintin looks like he does - he is Belgian after all !
35) You think it would be a good idea to impose English as the official Belgian language to simplify communication between Dutch, French and German speakers. After all, English is a mixture of Old Dutch (Anglo-Saxon) and Old French.
36) You have figured out the logic behind why some Belgians (who make a living out of teaching local languages to foreigners) vote for the far right wing political parties.
37) Your dress is perfectly compatible with the expected weather conditions.
38) You have to pay taxes for everything under the sun and you wonder all day long where the 50%+ taxes go
[toate sunt preluate cu mici adaptari, insa subscriu ca sunt 100% adevarate]
